


Snippets

by Irritable_Fabulamancer



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Drabbles, Some Fluff, probably a good chunk of crack, this'll be mostly comedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:41:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28504656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irritable_Fabulamancer/pseuds/Irritable_Fabulamancer
Summary: The obligatory drabble collection.
Kudos: 23





	1. Mobians and Monsters

"Your task was very simple. I gave you a clearly-labelled form to fill out, an extensive set of rules to abide by, and a  _ generous _ amount of advice. I then left you alone for two hours, and in retrospect that may have been a mistake."

"Y'know, we haven't actually shown you our characters yet."

Shadow looked up from his DM screen. "I know. I'm preparing myself for the worst."

"If I didn't know any better, Shads, I'd say you don't trust us."

He looked around the table. Sonic was relaxing, casually tossing his dice, and already interrupting him, all of which were, most likely, very bad signs. Tails was holding his sheet slightly nervously, rereading it as if he hadn't probably memorised the player's manual already. Knuckles seemed more sure of himself, but even from this angle, Shadow could see that his spelling was  _ atrocious _ . Amy was smiling pleasantly enough, but she was a wild card. And Rouge was perfectly confident, which, in this context, was  _ definitely _ a very bad sign.

"I don't. Now, let's get this part over with. Introduce yourselves."

Sonic straightened up. "Ok! So I made a manticore sword fighter – yeah, didn't really want to deal with all the complicated stuff."

"You didn't really want to deal with all the complicated stuff, and you picked a  _ manticore _ ? You do realise they have both natural weapons and a flight speed, right?"

"Those are complicated? I picked it 'cause I thought they were cool." Sonic didn't look discouraged. "Well, I'll figure it out!"

Shadow resisted the urge to headdesk. "Let's just move on. We'll go clockwise. Amy?"

"Ah. I... might have also made a manticore?" He gave in to the urge. "She's a paladin, with an axe and buffing magic."

"At least you have some semblance of support. Tails?"

"Actually, I sort of had the same thought, so I went for a healing cleric. I picked kitsune for my race -" Tails looked down in a strange kind of annoyance, "- since  _ apparently _ that's a thing you can be in this."

"So, that makes three of you with unusual races." Admittedly, Shadow did trust him with this a little more than those other two – and at least they had a healer. "Rouge?"

She looked up. "Oh, imp rogue."

"That's it? Just an imp rogue?"

"Yep. With a knife." Shadow suddenly recognised her expression as  _ plotting _ , and feared slightly for the kids at the table. "They wouldn't happen to be chaotic neutral, would they?"

"Mm-hmm."

"... Knuckles?"

"Well, apparently wizards get a lot of powerful stuff, so I picked one. Built him for throwing fireballs."

"What race?"

"Elemental. They're good for wizards, right? Storm, because they're the strongest."

_This was a bad idea._

"SETUP COMPLETE. MAY I BEGIN ROLEPLAYING, SHADOW?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As it turns out, I have a lot of random ideas for scenes, so I figured I may as well write them down. I may end up taking inspiration for stories from some of these, or even turning them into full fics. We'll see!


	2. Technological Ingenuity

"Can you fix a blender?"

Tails looked up from his workbench to see Cosmo standing at the door to the workshop, holding something behind her back and looking sheepish. "Well, it really depends on how badly damaged it is."

"What if it doesn't have glass anymore?"

He thought for a moment. "Well, I could probably replace that. I've got a variable mould, and an industrial-strength kiln."

"Or a lid."

"That's a bit more fiddly, but probably."

"Or the... blendy bit. Really, it's just got the bottom bit left."

He looked at her in a wary sort of way. "What did you...  _ blend _ ?"

"Stuff." She pulled out the bottom part of a blender, covered in multicoloured stains, and handed it to him. He looked it over, and sniffed it suspiciously. "Why does it smell like blood?"

She leaned over and sniffed it herself, looking confused. "Just smells like metal to me."

"That's what blood smells like."

"Mobian blood has metal in it?"

"Yeah, iron."

"Huh. Mine's mostly chlorophyll."

"That actually makes sense. But that still doesn't explain why this smells like blood."

"Probably the fertiliser."

" _ Fertiliser _ ?"

"Yeah, the red powdery stuff." Cosmo suddenly snapped her fingers. "Oh! That's probably why it had "Blood Meal" written on it."

They stared at each other for a moment.

"Don't go in the kitchen."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was meant to be part of the Prison Break series, but I couldn't find anywhere to slot it.


	3. Out of Sight, Out of Mind

For most people, the birth of a child means hope for the future, a new life to teach and cherish, a feeling of joy like nothing else in the world.

For the Prowers, it meant a hurried trip back to the house for a cardboard box, an hour-long drive to make sure they were far away from any evidence, and a quick search for a dark alley.

"Let's never speak of this again."

Rosemary pushed her son into a corner, wedging the box between a dumpster and a wall, out of sight and, hopefully, out of mind. "Never speak of what again?"

The two supposed parents walked out of the alley together, wilfully ignoring the crying coming from the box. They turned a corner, and stopped.

The little blue hedgehog couldn't have been older than seven, and looked like he'd been dragged through a hedge backwards. His big black eyes looked up at them, shining innocently, as he held up the tiny bundle of orange in his arms.

"S'cuse me, but y' forgot this."

Amadeus and Rosemary glanced at each other, and ran.

"Hey!" The child appeared in front of them as they turned a corner. "Don' be scared. I'm just tryin' to help."

The only response he got was a screamed " _Go AWAY!_ " as they ran off again. He paused in surprise, then ran in front of them again, pouting. "Why are y' so mad? Y' dropped your baby, n' I'm giving it back."

" _Keep that thing away from us, you little monster!_ "

He looked down. The baby gurgled.

"Y' mean this?"

The Prowers took the opportunity to run while he was confused, and actually managed to get out of sight. It's amazing what adrenaline can do. The hedgehog made a quick lap of the alleys before screeching to a halt in front of them, watching as they tripped, scrambling to go the other way.

"Just put him back! He's a mutant, it's not like he's going to live anyway!"

The boy scrunched up his face in a childish expression of anger. "You guys are just mean! Y' got this cute lil' baby -" he held up the baby to punctuate the point, who proceeded to drool on his hands, "- an' you're being mean to him! Stop being so mean!"

"Leave us ALONE!"

"Y'know what! Fine! I'm gonna keep him! He's gonna be my cute lil' baby brother, an' we're gonna have ALL the fun!" He yelled for emphasis, and also because they were halfway out of town by now, and gave one final enraged pout before looking back at the fox, face instantly changing to a huge grin as he beheld his cute little face. "Hi, buddy!"

The baby looked up at his new big brother with huge curious eyes. He giggled incoherently, and threw up on him as a sign of affection.

"What am I gonna call you, huh?"


	4. Thievin'

"Did you steal a child, Sonic?"

Sonic looked over at the tiny fox toddler being squealed over by Amy in the corner, then back to Knuckles. "Whaaat? No way!"

The echidna remained very clearly unconvinced. "Sonic, you called us over to your apartment saying to wanted to introduce your brother. This is a fox, who looks like he's been dragged a few miles through mud. It looks like you've stolen a child."

"Hey, Tails is my brother! He's adopted! I adopted him."

"When?"

"Yesterday."

"Legally?"

"... Semi."

"Sonic, I swear -"

"Look, I didn't  _ steal _ him, okay?" Sonic looked frustrated, but that frustration seemed to soften a little as he glanced at the kit again. "I found him all beaten up in an alley. He doesn't have parents – I think they abandoned him. I couldn't just leave him there."

"Where does the adoption part come in?"

"Knuckles, you wouldn't know this, but orphanages  _ suck _ . Trust me. Kid's traumatised enough as it is."

"... You know, now that I think about it, I honestly don't know why I'm still surprised. Are you  _ absolutely sure _ this doesn't count as stealing?"

Sonic's smile gained a vaguely stunned element to it, and Knuckles was sure the sinking feeling he felt right now was sympathetic. But before the criminally reckless hedgehog could say something along the lines of "Oh no", a little voice piped up next to them.

"Sonic didn' kidnap no one!" Tails toddled over to them with a still cooing Amy in tow, and gave Knuckles a big pout. "He beat up all the bullies, an' then he gave me a cuddle an' a blanky an' lotsa nice food, an' then he let me be his little brother!" He stretched his arms up to Sonic, who leant over and scooped him into his arms. Settling in, the kid stuck out his tongue at the echidna. "Don' be mean to my big brother!"

"That's my bro!" Sonic poked Tails' nose, making him giggle. He looked over at Amy. "Hey, Ames, are you crying?"

" _ He's the purest little thing I've ever seen! _ "

"Yep, I've gotta agree with ya there."

"Well." Knuckles finished deducing what "blanky" meant. "Sonic, if you get arrested for this, don't ask me for help."

"Pfft, like they could catch me anyway." Knuckles gave him a Look. " _ If I had stolen a kid, which I didn't _ . I think, like, scavenger's rights apply, or something like that."

"Right." Knuckles turned to the little fox. "It's Tails, right? Are you sure you're not being stolen?"

Tails blinked up at him. Knuckles could see where Amy was coming from – the kid looked disturbingly tattered for his small size, and it seemed likely that he didn't even know what the word "bath" meant, but it was a  _ very _ pure gaze. The kit turned back to Sonic.

"Y' got weird friends, big bro."

Sonic laughed, hugging him. "Yeah, I sorta do, huh?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Another Sonic meeting Tails AU? In my drabble collection? It's more likely than you'd think.
> 
> I have no excuse other than "the pre-retcon ages inspired me".


End file.
